Posted: 09/04/2014 in Short Stories

He can’t stop laughing at her tears. She’s used to bleeding in front of him, salt and the red variety. She didn’t think she would ever get this close but she already knows it’s too late; her decision was taken months ago. He carries on laughing to no one but himself as she struggles to get off all fours. She had been carrying it round the house since she took it out of the kitchen and stuffed it in her Marks and Spencer’s robe that he bought her for her birthday with her money. She puts her right hand inside and feels the smooth black safety handle and it fits inside her palm calmly which she takes as a sign. He doesn’t notice because he’s reached for the Sky remote and is watching highlights of his beloved eleven.

He takes a quick look over to her the way you look to see if it’s a spider or piece of dirt on the carpet. He’s picking at some nuts in a bowl on the coffee table and he’s put his feet up; pleased with himself at very perfect opening of a nut. Her stomach is still contracted from the blows. She doesn’t want to take her hand out of her pocket, away from her hope of salvation, but she has to get herself up. On her feet but still curled over the way old people’s spines start to bend, she understands that tomorrow may come but it’s not worth the wait. She walks slowly towards his back as he resides in his favourite chair.

“I’m sorry my love, let me make it up to you” she says with genuine affection. It is real. This will be love. Love and hate are woven together from the same thread. He snorts a reply and only turns his head slightly in her direction as she comes behind him. He’s smiling because he gets to have it all.

“Good thinking you silly cow, I hate it when you sulk”.

She nods in agreement which he can’t see but he wasn’t waiting for her confirmation. All the world’s a stage and….she liked Shakespeare as a young girl. Macbeth. Lady Macbeth.

She’s rubbing his shoulders; forefingers and thumbs moving up and down and up and down and up.

He settles into her movements and lets out a deep breath of relaxation. “That’s it honey, always been good with your hands” and he chuckles at his own wit.
She’s wondering if she can get another batch of washing done before she sleeps tonight as she rubs his temples and forehead. That always eases him. That’s it. Relax.
The sound of football commentary seems faint even though no one has touched the remote. She can’t see his face but knows his eyes are closed but he’s not asleep yet.
She reaches for it in her pocket. “My love” she says.

He grunts “uhuh?” without moving.

“I love you”, and takes the blade across his throat in one slow motion. The first tear of his skin cut his vocal chords and his screams are hoarse and drowned. His Adam’s apple provides a bit of resistance but not enough. She’s not surprised at how much blood is pouring out on her hands but at the scratching sound the blade makes on the thin skin across his neck. She likes it and laments she could not make its song last. The thickness of the blood reminds her of milk. She stops before she gets to his shoulder and takes her hand and blade back to her side and she doesn’t know if she should wash it now or leave it until the morning. Silly, I don’t have OCD, silly silly doctors, and shakes her head at the thought.

She goes around the chair and mounts him, her legs either side of the arm rests. She lifts his chin, his eyes open, and wants to tell him something important. But beyond his face she catches something that she cannot ignore. One of the light bulbs in the chandelier has gone out and the shops closed half an hour ago.

  1. Anonymous says:

    nicely written cuz. i love the details that made me draw a picture of the scenario, just one thing, could you tell me what did she want to tell him?????

  2. Anonymous says:

    Ok, so he is definitely a jerk and he deserved what has became of him. But I’d really love to know, what did she want to tell him????????…….if I was the one dramatizing this “I’d have said to him “See, you have ruined my lovely clean couch. You pig” or “See who is laughing now. Cow!” but again all those scenarios are mere speculations and I guess that’s why it’s written that way. Nice written!

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